sfup

i know i shouldn't do this, i know i shouldn't do that, but the problem is, i did all those things i shouldn't do in the first place. i dunno how to express it out, i planned, i visioned how i should act, but when the time comes, i fucked up, real fucked up. the thing came out to be more worse than i could ever imagined, this is not want i want, can i just let it go and let it be? no, there must be something wrong with my values, assumptions, beliefs and possibly paradigm.

something that i do frequently and i assumed to be true and i do it without ever giving a second thought of why i'm doing it. i thought it would be wrong if i do this. but till one day, i realized that, i should do what i shouldn't do. you can imagine how fucked up the situation is.

a short and only-i-know-why post.